I accidentally broke my girlfriends glasses during sex

The one that haunted Helen Keller's house.

If you’ve seen one, you’ve seen them all.

He was disintegrating by parts.

Currently reading a braille horror story and something bad is about to happen. I can feel it...

However, after his successes, Jay's life fell apart and he later found himself struggling to support his 2 daughters and his son. It was then that Jay decided to turn his life around. He implemented structure in his life, and tried to impress the value of structure on his three kids. All three kids decided they were going to go out and sieze their futures. Jay's first daughter found structure in her art studies, and followed in her father's footsteps to become a highly-regarded painter. Jay's second daughter dedicated herself to music and, through structuring her time carefully, wrote several songs in the same style as Jay's album, becoming a highly successful singer songwriter. However, his son struggled. He simply couldn't motivate himself to live a life full of structure. After many years, he decided he was going to ride his father's writing success and write a sequel to Jay's novel. Jay wished his son the best of luck, and promised he would check in on him regularly to see his progress. 6 months passed, and Jay visited his son's studio to see how he was getting on with the book. However, to his dismay, instead of a neat setup, Jay found papers spread over lots of tables all over the room. When he asked his son what was going on, his son told him, "I can't find force myself to be structured all the time, so I devised this complicated table arrangement to make up for the ways that I struggle to be structured". As Jay looked around, he started to understand - one table was for all of the tense scenes, one for all the romantic scenes, one for the bits that weren't quite finished yet, and so on. "That's genius!" exclaimed Jay. "How did you come up with this?". "Oh it was easy really, I thought of it when I came across this advice in a programming textbook" "Jay's son is semi-structured, which necessitates a complex table structure when writing sequel."

Disappointed, the husband sighs and complains, “After hearing how great it was going to be and getting myself all excited, I was looking forward to having an extended good time. And then in the end it only lasted for 30 seconds!” “So?,” replied his wife. “Welcome to my world!.”

Willy Wonkawonkawonkawonka.

While taking a trip through a native reservation, a man was approached by a young Algonquin woman who offered herself to him for $200. “That’s a lot of money,” he said, “Manhattan Island cost less than that.” “Yes,” she replied, “but unlike me, Manhattan Island just lies there.”

"Guilty", said the man in the dock. At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted "*You dirty rat!*" The Judge asked the man to site down and to refrain from making any noise. The Judge continued "..... and that also on the 17th September you are accused of killing your son by beating him to death with a hammer, how do you plead"? "Guilty", said the man in the dock. Again the same man at the back stood up and shouted even louder, "*You dirty rotten stinking rat"!!* At this point the Judge called the man to the bench and said, "I have already asked you to be quiet, if you continue with these outbursts, I will have to charge you with contempt of court. I can understand your feelings, but what relationship have you to this man?" He replied "He is my next door neighbor". The Judge replied, "I can understand your feelings then, but you must refrain from any comments". The man replied "NO, your Honor, you don't understand. Twice I have asked if I could borrow a hammer, and BOTH TIMES he said he didn't have one"!!!

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